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True Story - Wednesday, September 17, 2003 |
Greetings, blokes.
This comic is based on reality. Reality that occurred a few hours ago, and which I was physically present for. Since it's really late, I need to go to sleep, but I will post a longer explanation tomorrow afternoon.
Rest assured that the plot will progress as normal on Friday.
!!!EXPLANATION UPDATE!!!
As you may or may not have known, D.J. Chuckie P. (aka: Chuck Palahniuk) recently put out his latest book "Diary" and was traveling the country in support of it. His last stop was the lovely city of Pittsburgh; more specifically, the University of Pittsburgh. And, hey, that's the city where I live now! Not being one to pass up an event like this, I wrangle up a few of my cronies and hit it up.
In the afternoon, Chuck held a Q&A session immediately prior to a screening of "Fight Club." During which, he purveyed some rather interesting advice and provided some classic quotes:
#1)
Moderator: I love the fact that your books seem researched really well. I've heard you spend a lot of time in libraries...
Chuck: (gives Moderator a weird look) Actually, I fucking hate libraries. If I want to do some research, I start dialing 976 phone sex lines, and look for people telling stories about brother-on-sister action...
#2)
Chuck: If you're working on a writing project, always have a fart handy.
#3)
Kid in Audience: If you could have sex with anyone in history, living or dead, who would it be?
Chuck: Well... I suppose... I'd want to have a three-way with Adam and Eve.
Later that day, he read his latest short story "Guts" to an overflowing auditorium of people. To say this story is intensely disgusting is an understatement...
How big of an understatement, you ask...?
Well, let me put it this way...
Between all the places he read it at prior to Pittsburgh, 25 people PASSED OUT while listening to it. That's right. Using only his voice and the words he was reading, he caused 25 modern-day people to LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS.
By the time he was done reading it the other night, that number got bumped up to 27. (Some people walked out, and one chick was sitting in the aisle, hands clamped over her ears, as she stared resolutely at the floor, to avoid having any of those pesky words hit her ears...)
Apparently, one dude in New York passed out, hit the floor, puked, then started screaming, and had to be carted away via ambulance. I can't even imagine.
Anyway, it's a quality story. Funny as hell, disgusting as anything I've ever heard, and totally unrelenting. Good stuff. I recommend checking it out in February when it hits Playboy, though I can't imagine reading it would be quite as good as having it read to you by Chuck Himself.
After he unleashed his new story on us, he let more people ask questions, and gave each person who got a question in a "special treat" from his box of tricks. (Plush crowns, tiaras, weird kitten fetish mask, huge plastic baby bottle, etc...)
Sadly, I couldn't ask any questions since my voice was still wrecked from my cold I contracted the previous weekend. Once the questions were all asked, it was pretty much over, so we took off.
I was a casual fan of Chuckie prior to this, but now I'm determined to go and read all his stuff. This dude rules. He's funny as all hell in person, and seems like he'd be really fun to go out and have a drink with.
-ben_ethus
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ã2003 Forfeit Zero - Created by Brian Sabotta
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